So, funny story! Lately Jon and I have been dealing with the whole work, parent, sleep, repeat scenario. Jon and I were recently found saying just how monotonous it is.
In truth, life had been feeling extremely monotonous. Wake up, make breakfast, make the beds, get ready for the day, clean the kitchen, do the dishes, etc. Etc. You get what I’m saying, right? As I have been going about the usual day to day activity, I found myself wishing that something would break that ridiculous cycle. It started getting old. Chasing Jackson around. Cleaning up the same toys, the same messes, dealing with tantrums for the same reasons.
I have also grown to be very independent as a stay at home mom. I do the cleaning. I do cooking. I deal with temper tantrums and kiss owies when Jon isn’t home to help. Being a stay at home mom has actually given me a confidence that I never thought I’d have. It has given me a confidence that I didn’t have before, when I was working. It made me realize that I can rely on myself, and not lean so much on Jon. While it has been monotonous, repetative, and sometimes even boring on some days, it has been empowering.
So fast forward to Saturday. It started out great! I woke up, made chocolate chip pancakes for Jon, Jackson and myself, and everything seemed to be going great! It was the first day Jon had off in a week. And I mean day. He usually works morning shifts, so it was nice to have him until his shift started that evening. We decided to make the most of our day and have some family time. We went bowling, had lunch, and even let Jackson play on the race car games at the arcade. It was actually a really fun day, and I was so happy to be able to just be with family.
I had made plans that evening after Jon had gone to work, to go to a friend’s house to help decorate cookies for the ladies that we visit teach once a month. I stayed for about an hour, until Jackson had to go home and get ready for bed. As he and I were leaving the apartment complex, I stepped wrong off of some stairs, fell, and my ankle snapped. There I was, outside, with a toddler, not able to walk, in excruciating pain, and my phone battery was pretty close to dead.
So, I did the only thing I could think of. I called Jon at work, and begged him to come help, and I called my friend upstairs in her apartment so that she could come watch Jackson until Jon got there. Jon was able to come fairly quickly and help me up off the ground and get Jackson and I home.
He had to go back to work, so Jon’s mom came over to take care of Jackson, and take me to the local Community Care to get my ankle checked. While we were there we learned that my fibula could very well be broken where it attaches to my ankle. Since I am pregnant, we opted to not do an x-ray to confirm, and I am now stuck in a boot, waiting for it to heal. And if course if it doesn’t, we get to deal with that. (We are optimistic though!)
Being in a boot, chasing a one year old around, and being pregnant is absolutely exhausting. I have had friends come over to help chase Jackson around for me, and have not really been able to cook or clean. I am, to some extent, a neat freak. At the end of the day, I like having Jackson’s toys put away, dishwasher running, laundry folded, etc. Etc. The last several days I have quickly learned how bad that obsession is.
On Sunday I was sitting in my recliner resting my foot, and I just cried. I cried because my foot hurt, I had terrible cramps, and all I wanted to do was clean up the mess that was my living room, do dishes and clean my counters. I couldn’t even make dinner! (Thankfully, my mom had ordered us pizza, and my mother in law had made Sunday dinner for us.)
I have never wished more for my regular old monotonous life, than I have in the last couple of days. I have a friend who’s sweet girl is in the hospital right now, and she recently posted about how she misses her normal, even with all the stress that comes with it. It is crazy to think how we take for granted the every day normal routines, even when it makes us want to pull our hair out. Even when we get to that point where we just want to scream, we would take that back in a heart beat when it gets interrupted by something more stressful, and more frustrating.
The last 5 days or so, I have really missed my monotonous day to day life. I miss making my bed, helping Jackson with his breakfast, all of that. And granted, I can do some of that with my boot on, it can just be a little more challenging. That is where asking for help comes in.
Humility is a wonderful, and sometimes terrible lesson to learn. When I think of humility, I think of people who are prideful, boastful, or just always up on their high horse, learning their lesson. I never really think about it as asking others for help. Asking my ward members and friends to come help me out at home, to make dinner so we can have one or two hot meals this week. That has actually taken a lot of humility on my part.
It is extremely hard for me to ask someone for help, especially if I am not directly related to them. But that is what I get to do for the next few weeks. And while it’s hard, it’s nice to know that we have such an amazing community, friends, and family who are able and willing to help. And who are understanding of our circumstances.
I think sometimes the Lord will give us little trials. Not always as big as the trials of others, but things that are hard for us. I.e. it’s hard for me to not have a clean house. And its very hard for me to ask others for help. And now I have this amazing opportunity to rely on my husband more to help with house responsibilities, or maybe just learn not to stress over a little mess. I also have the opportunity to ask others for help while I’m trying to stay off of my foot.
So, while I’m staying off of my foot for the next couple weeks, don’t mind the mess, possible screaming toddler, and probably slightly insane looking mommy. I’m trying not to!