So after our long move, and a long few days, Jon and I decided to stick it out and go to church on Sunday in our new ward. I met several people who were very kind, and Jackson, as usual, only let us stay for about two hours.
We walked in late, and sat down in the foyer. There was another parent out there with us, so we started talking about our kids, their progress, etc. At first the conversation was pretty normal. We talked about their age, their likes, and their dislikes. However, pretty soon this other parent started to compare their child to mine. At first I didn’t think much of it, because that is something I think a lot of people do, whether they realize it or not. However, the comparing turned into telling me what I was doing wrong.
I had mentioned that some of Jackson’s favorite foods don’t always do great things in his digestive system, and what our pediatrician had told us to do about it, and the tricks that we have learned to deal with it. This parent immediately started shaking their head, gave me a funny look, and told me no, I should not do what had been working for us, or what our pediatrician had told us. They informed me that I shouldn’t give Jackson apple juice because it is horrible for him, or apple sauce, or anything else I had mentioned that my son enjoys. I just took these words as a grain of salt, and continued to discuss other things. However she always brought the discussion back to my son’s digestive problems.
I told her that I had similar problems at his age, and wanted to take him to my naturepath to see if he was missing an enzyme. Surprise! She had a problem with that too! Through this whole conversation, she was flat out telling me that I was wrong. I am sure she meant well, and I credit her for trying to help me in her own way. However, it kind sucks when someone tells you that everything you do is wrong according to them
My point in telling that long, rambling story, is to say this: Build someone up, rather than tear them down. Be nice!
I don’t know how many times during this conversation/lecture I wanted to say that. I didn’t though. I kept my mouth shut, and just let her talk. My husband, bless his heart, could tell it was driving me crazy, and not making me happy at all. But in all honesty, here is my question: What gives us as parents the right to tell another parent that they are wrong? Since when is that okay? Is the child hurt? Is the child in danger? Is the child being neglected? If the answer is no to all three of those questions, maybe take a different approach, or stop and think.
What ever happened to parents supporting each other?? Or people in general? What ever happened to people saying “Well, I don’t do it that way, but that’s totally cool if it works for you.” A fabulous example would be my own mom! We sometimes have to let Jackson cry it out. That is something my mom didn’t do with us as children, and something she has a hard time with. However, she has never once told me I am a bad mom for doing it, or that I am parenting wrong, or lectured me about it in any way, shape, or form. She encourages me, and reminds me that I am his mom, and I know what’s best. And she helps me whenever I have questions!
Why can’t we, as moms, support each other?? Motherhood is not easy! Motherhood is probably one of the hardest things that I have ever done! It is incredibly exhausting, and rewarding at the same time. Rather than criticizing each other, I feel like we as parents, and human beings should all be encouraging each other. One of my all time favorite mom vloggers, Kristina Kuzmic, will post something encouraging for moms on her Instagram at least once a week. How cool is that?? Cat and Nat, some Canadian vloggers, do the same thing. Wonderful!
This leads to another discussion though: You can never build yourself up, by tearing others down. President Thomas S. Monson, of the LDS church stated: “We must be careful that we do not destroy another person’s confidence through careless words or actions.” I absolutely, positively, love this quote!
How often do we say something that we think is totally harmless, but then it turns out to be extremely damaging? How often do we say something to another person, another parent, student, or friend, and it turns out that those words completely destroyed that person?
Let’s all try to just be kind and encouraging to one another. Don’t put other moms down, heck don’t put others down in general! This lesson applies to everyone! Tell someone that they are doing great! Tell them that they are amazing individuals. Have you ever had a bad day, and one kind word from someone made it all better? I know I have! Make it a goal to be that person. Make it a goal to be the one who turns someone’s day around.
Recently I started working at the job I left when I moved to Utah two years ago. I was extremely nervous to start, just because I wouldn’t know anyone, and I would be the “new person” all over again.
We had our first work meeting on Sunday, and when I walked in I remember feeling so nervous! Like, small panic attack in the car kind of nervous! The only people I knew were the managers. I walked into the meeting, and an old friend and coworker sees me, and just smiled, says hi, and invited me to sit with him and his buddy. Literally that was all it took to make me just a little more comfortable at that meeting.
What can you do to be that person for someone today? What small act of kindness can you do, to make someone’s day 10× better than it had been? Mom’s, what is something you can do for another parent? To encourage them, and make them realize that they are doing the best that they can, and they are doing great!
I would love to challenge any one who reads this post to please, please try your hardest to 1. Not criticize another’s choices, whether you disagree or not, and 2. To make someone’s day! Be kind to someone, you never know how your small gesture could impact someone’s whole day!
Happy weekend everyone!