Family, marriage

Making the Move

Lately, a lot of the things that Jon and I have done have required a big leap of faith. Two years ago, we moved to Utah with nothing. Ironically, now we are leaving Utah, still with nothing. And when I say nothing, I guess I mean financially. However, while living in Utah for the last two years we have taken away a lot of little life lessons, and Sometimes life lessons are worth so much more.

Jon and I were able to learn the value  of hard work. When we first got married, for the first few months we had our parents to rely on. Once we moved four hours away from them, all of that changed. Jon and I had to work hard to balance our lives without the help of parents. Once Jackson was born, that became even harder. We had to figure out babysitting while we went to work or school.

To go along with that, we also learned to rely on others for help, and to be willing to ask for help. Being new parents is not easy, and I am absolutely positive that I am not the first person to say that. Nor will I be the last. Jon and I are both prideful in the sense that we want to do it all ourselves. We learned pretty quickly that sometimes you have to humble yourself and ask for help. The best example of that has been finding someone to watch Jackson for us for various things. We tried so hard to make our schedules work so that Jackson would not have to be without a parent, and we felt bad putting that burden on someone else. However, the fact of the matter is we can’t do it by ourselves. And that is totally okay! I don’t think anyone should be afraid to ask for help, big or small.

As Jon and I have progressed, we have learned to rely on others. At first, I didn’t want to bother the people in our ward for help. I didn’t want to put myself out there and be a burden. It is so funny though, because in reaching out to the ward, I have ever been able to make some amazing friends. I have met great people who have changed my life for the better. It is amazing how just reaching out and putting yourself out there can change your circumstances. When we first moved into this ward, I was really nervous. I didn’t feel like I fit in, and I didn’t feel like anyone really liked me. The fact is, no one knew mw, because I wasn’t willing to put myself out there. After a good conversation with aomwone, I have decided that in future wards, I will be putting myself out there a little more.

The funny thing about being in school, working, and being a parent, means that you need to have good time management. Full disclosure, Jon and I did not have good time management when we initially moved to Utah. Then again, we hadn’t even been married for six months either. Living here, however has taught us time management, or rather that is one of the lessons we will be taking back with us. Just last night Jon and I were talking about how when we move back to Idaho, we plan on scheduling our time more efficiently, so that we aren’t struggling to balance everything. I think one of our biggest mistakes was trying to keep me home more than Jon, so I could be with Jackson. The fact of the matter is, while Jon is in school, I will need to make certain sacrifices in order to help make ends meet for our family, and so that Jon can do well in school. One of those sacrifices is going to be giving up being a stay at home mom for the time being, and getting a job, and being the provider while Jon gets his education.

To go along with time management, I have also learned to write things down. Write everything down. Before moving, heck before getting married, I was never much of a planner. My life was always very sporadic, and everything was last minute. To be blunt, because of poor planning I was late for everything. Oh, I tried to make excuses, because who doesn’t? But the fact is, I was never great at planning. Having school, work, gym, and parenthood to balance, I had to learn to schedule everything. Write down what chores were going to be done on what days, and in what order would work best for me. Of course, I was a lot better at that before I had Jackson. Now that we have Jackson, it is a little harder to get everything done that I have written down, but it provides a great guideline for me to get done what I can, and what is most important.

One of the most important lessons that Jon and I have learned in the last two years, is to be there for each other. To support each other through the good and the bad.

Jon was so supportive of me while I was pregnant. He got me the food I was craving, he comforted me when I wasn’t feeling well, and he worked for me in days that I was too sick to do so myself. Likewise, I supported him when he needed it. When Jon had his jaw surgeries, I was there at the hospital every chance I got. When he was having a hard time in school, I helped him any way I could. Jon and I have learned that when your family is four hours away, you have each other. And it is so, so important to be there for each other, especially when times are hard. We have learned to to support each other, and to communicate better, and to work through the hard times. The crazy thing is, we are only two years into our marriage. We have so many harder things to face in the future, especially once we have teenagers!

Today, I was on the phone with my sister in law, and I told her that we were moving back to town. She was so excited and said “you mean I will have my sister back?” Well sat, and we chatted, and we talked about having sleepovers and all that jazz. But what I really got out of that conversation, was that we were going to have a support system. We are going to have some of the best babysitters, and Jackson is going to make amazing memories!

We have learned so much while living in Utah, and we will be taking very valuable life lessons back to Idaho with us. We are thrilled for what is to come. Life is going to be so good!

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