Eight a.m. rolls around, and I can hear Jackson starting to wake up. He will lay in his bed and babble and play for about half an hour, before he starts crying. It is when the babbling starts that I mentally prepare myself for the day. I ask myself, “Am I going to have time to put on make up today? Is there a point in putting on make up? What about nice clothes?”
Almost seven months ago, when I was so pregnant I was ready to pop, I didn’t care about how I looked. I got up in the morning, put on clothes that barely fit, and went about my day. I didn’t even bother to straighten my hair on most days, because I felt too fat to care.
After having Jackson, I started working really hard to lose the baby weight, and I did. But I still felt frumpy. I would get up, get my hair done, put on clothes that were now a little too big, and I don’t know, I just wasn’t comfortable in my own body. I found myself apologizing to my husband for not wearing make up, or for pulling my hair up into a pony tail. And every time, he would tell me that he didn’t care what I looked like, and that he loved me for me.
That was all fine and dandy, but the fact of the matter is, I didn’t feel super great. I felt depressed, fat, and ugly. I went to my doctor and got medication, and that helped a little, but not enough. Then, in October, I really started focusing on going to the gym on a regular basis.
Oh my heck what a difference that made! I started to feel more confident about my body, and that lead to more confidence in myself as a person all around. I did still feel frumpy, but because of that extra boost of confidence, I felt happier.
Happiness didn’t help everything though. As I said earlier, I still felt frumpy. So finally I called up a friend and went shopping. I went to Ross, and bought a whole bunch of new clothes and shoes. Then I started to actually attempt to wear make up on a daily basis. One day Jon came home from work and asked why I was wearing make up, and he said I didn’t have to do that for him or anyone else. That took me by surprise.
Jon had automatically assumed that I had put on make up and gotten dressed in nice clothes for the day, for him, or for work, or for friends. I told him I did it for me.
For me, make up and fashion are more than just trying to look good for someone else. It is the routine, and feeling good about myself. It doesn’t matter what other people say or think. My mom sometimes thinks my make up is too much, while others think I don’t wear enough. I love high heels, some people call them my “hooker” shoes, others want to know where I got them.
I am finally at a point in my life where I don’t care what others think about my looks. I get dressed up for myself. I am currently writing this in a floral dress and high heels while lounging on my couch because it makes me feel good about myself, and it makes me feel pretty.
There are still mornings where I hear Jackson babbling, and I think “sweat pants and a T shirt, or a cute Blouse and heels?” Some days sweat pants totally win, but other days I definitely doll myself up, even if I am not leaving the house at all.
Just because we are mom’s, doesn’t mean we have to suddenly dress a certain way, or act a certain way. It definitely doesn’t matter what other people think, especially when it comes down to our looks, and how we feel.
So my question for you guys is:
What do you do to give yourself that extra boost of confidence for your day?