It has been about three weeks since Jon started school, amd I am actually super impressed with how hard he has been working! Jon has been trying to adjust to this bigger and much more difficult school. When he went to BYU Idaho, it was very different compared to BYU. His dad has said that if BYU had smaller classes, it would basically be ivy league. Last semester was hard on our whole family. I had just had Jackson, so Jon and I were trying to adjust to parenthood, and juggle everything that comes with it. We were also trying to adjust to our new schedules. College is for sure not easy on an individual but it also puts a lot of stress on a family unit. Jon felt pressured to not only have good grades, but also to provide for our family. When I realized that the stress of everything was breaking my husband emotionally and mentally, I went back to work as soon as I could.
Balancing Jon’s school, our couple time, and family time has been extremely difficult. We have learned quite a few life lessons, learned what we should and should not do, and we have also learned different ways to keep things balanced so we don’t go insane!
Here are some things that I have learned about balancing since having Jackson:
Keep family and school separate: I know, that sounds totally insane, right? But really, try to keep school at school (when possible) and family at home. Keeping those two things separate has made all the difference for our family. There is less stress and less tension in the home when Jon stays in campus just a little longer to finish his homework, and get started on next week’s assignments.
Give your spouse adequate attention: Of course I completely understand that school and work are extremely hard on my husband, he is feeling a lot of those pressures every day. Sometimes he just needs to unwind and hang out and watch a movie. So when he requests, or when he seems more stressed than usual, I like to offer to do something together, just the two of us. It relieves his stress, and I get quality time with my hubby!
Be open about what you need: Jon and I have learned that it is better all around if I am just open about what I want or need, rather than trying to hint. I could hint for days about what I want or need, and he wouldn’t get it. That has caused a lot of arguing and frustration for both of us. So now, rather than beating around the bush I flat out tell my husband if I want to go on a date, or if I want flowers, or if I need to feel loved and appreciated. And in return, Jon does the same thing.
No cell phones on dates: Dates are more meaningful when you actually pay attention to the person you are with, and you can’t do that if you are staring at your cell phone.
Family, Homework, Work: Family always comes first, and homework is definitely a close second. Work is important, but is also something that I can do for him if he has too much homework and not enough time.
Get a planner: Plan, Plan, Plan! Write down all the things that need done in the day. Make a list from 1-10, 1 being the most important and 10 being the least, Whatever doesn’t get done get’s bumped up on the list the next day. Planning not only keeps me sane, but it makes it easier for me to work around Jon’s schedule. I can plan to be home at certain times, and plan to go grocery shopping at others.
We are still working on balancing our life with Jon’s school schedule, both of our work schedules, and of course around Jackson. It is definitely something that will take time, and we will learn more as Jon continues to go to school for the next two years. What are some things you guys do to keep your life in balance when everything is hectic? Comment below!