Jon and I don’t have the typical love story. Most couples meet, date for six months to a year, and then get married. Jon and I met in January 2015, and were married in August of the same year. In between, we dated for about a month, month an a half give or take, (depends on who you ask) and we were engaged for four months. We didn’t know each other long, but, as my mom says, “sometimes when you know, you know.”
We met at the end of January, after Jon returned home from serving an LDS mission in Kansas. At the time I was working at a fast food restaurant called Arctic Circle. I was a supervisor/assistant manager under my aunt. Jon was hired towards the end of January, and the second I saw him, I knew I wanted to at least go on a date with him.
I flirted with him, or I tried to anyway. I learned we had a lot in common. The one thing that made me feel the most connected to him, was the fact that we had similar struggles, (I’ll touch on those particular struggles later) so I was able to relate to him. He was also an amazing listener. He would, and still continues, to listen to my random rants about various subjects. By February we were definitely friends. We texted, talked, and worked together frequently. I was happy. I felt like I was in a good place, with this great guy!
I would occasionally hint at how we should do this or that together. I love musicals, my favorite one in particular is Camelot starring Richard Harris. (For those of you who don’t know who that is, that is the Dumbledore in the first two Harry Potter movies.) When Jon told me that he had never seen Camelot I “flipped” (not really, I was not surprised. I was just looking for an excuse to cuddle and watch a movie with him.) I continued to hint and hint that I wanted to go on a date (turns out he totally got them, he was just entertained by my trying so hard) but it felt like he wasn’t getting it!
Finally, I was tired of waiting for Jon to ask me out, so I took matters into my own hands. One day, while he was on break, I went up to him and told him that I really liked him, and I thought that we should go on a date some time. And the whole time, while womaning up, I felt like I was going to pee my pants! I was scared to death! I have always been somewhat extroverted, so it wasn’t uncommon for me to just go up to people to strike up a conversation, but in this case I was freaking out. What if he said no? What if he said yes? On the outside I was cool and collected, or so I like to tell myself. Internally I was having a full blown panic attack. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and that I would stop breathing altogether if he said no.
It was safe to say that he was very surprised. Not surprised that I liked him, but surprised that I had been so blunt. He denies that he dropped the burger that he was eating, but he totally did! He pulled himself together, and told me that that would be fine, but we both know he was just being polite. However, despite that fact, I spent the rest of that day, and most of that week, on cloud nine
For every positive there is a negative. That is how life works, or at least my life. I was making progress with Jon. I really liked him, we could talk easily, and everything was great! However, I didn’t know that my aunt, our boss, did not like Jon. For whatever reason, she couldn’t stand him, and she didn’t think that he was good enough for me. And because she cared for me, and wanted what was in my best interests, she didn’t think the two of us dating was such a great idea. In an attempt to prevent us from dating, she made a rule stating that no co-workers could date (even though we all knew that the high school couple who was on again and off again, were definitely ‘on.’)
So Jon and I started to go on dates, and spend time together in secret. Our first date was on a Thursday. Jon drove me to this little barbecue joint that was inside a gas station, that he absolutely loved! Jon loved this little hole in the wall so much that he had them cater his mission farewell luncheon. We sat in that little gas station, and talked for quite a while. He told me about his mission, I told him about my life. My very complicated life.
We had so much fun that night, that we went out again. This time, it was Frisbee golf. In Rexburg, there is this cute little park that has a duck pond, and a small Frisbee golf course. We went there, and Jon royally schooled me. In my defense, he has really long arms so no one should be surprised. He is freaking six feet and four inches tall, I was obviously at a disadvantage.
While we were there, at the nature park, we saw what looked like a big moose. Safe to say that as we got closer we realized it was NOT a moose. It was a couple under a big brown blanket. After that discovery there were several times where we almost “accidentally” hit them with our Frisbee’s.
We continued to spend time together and go on dates and such. One night in March, Jon’s friend Josh was in town, and I was invited over to play video games. It was safe to say I was the worst out of all of us, but I had a lot of fun. Later that week, his internet was down, so I offered to pick him up and bring him to my apartment so that he could register for classes at my place. So we sat at my kitchen counter, and he got done what he needed to, and we talked. There was an anime show going on in the background that my roommates were watching. That is when I learned that he hates anime. So we talked about that. While we were talking and bonding, in my mind I was thinking, “What are we??”
As I was driving Jon home, I made up my mind to ask him if we were a couple, or if we were just friends. I wanted to know if I was in the friend zone, or the girlfriend zone. It was about two in the morning, and I had found myself once again scared to death of rejection. We sat in his driveway for a few minutes, and then I was my blunt self yet again. I told him that I wanted to give us a try. He agreed! *Whew!*
After that, we ended up telling our boss that we were a couple. Or rather, a snitch told her, so we had to confess. She gave us two weeks to decide if we were going to be serious. Otherwise we had to break up. That forced Jon and I to have a very serious discussion about who we were, and what we wanted. We made the decision to stay together, and then we had to make the decision of who was going to quit, him or me? Thankfully we didn’t have to make that choice. We were able to continue to work together, and date.
That next Sunday, is when I met his family. It was a St. Patrick’s Day dinner, and the first time I had ever had corned beef. After dinner Jon and I took his younger siblings Lyd and James, on a little hike. He loaned me his sweat shirt, and of course that was the last time he saw said sweat shirt, until we were married.
We kept dating, and some would say we moved quickly. We spent almost every day together. No relationship is perfect, but in one month, my life felt like pure bliss. We went ring shopping, and I picked out my ring. On April 10th, Jon and I drove to Utah to go to a friend’s homecoming. We ended up staying at his grandma Livsey’s house in Salt Lake. While we were there, I got to know some of his extended family, and we got t
o go to this fun arcade type place. While we were there, I got very sick, due to gallbladder issues, so we had to drive back to Grandma’s house. On the way back, Jon stopped at Temple Square. The actual square was closed, but we went to the reflection pool by the front of the temple, and we looked at the temple, and talked about us, and about our future. I asked him if he would still want to marry me, even if his family thought I was a total psycho. He smiled, and said yes. Then he pulled out a beautiful ring box, with my beautiful ring inside, and said “Heather, will you be my psycho for all eternity?” Obviously I said yes, and to this day I am still his.
I want to back up for a minute. In writing this, it has made me fall in love with my husband all over again. I look at this incredible man sleeping next to me, and I can’t help but think that he is mine! I get to keep him forever! However, our story isn’t all flowers and sunshine. Jon and I both suffer from anxiety, and I suffer from depression and PTSD. Mental illness is hard enough, but when it rears it’s big ugly head in a relationship, a lot of things can happen. There were times when I felt extremely insecure about us. I was paranoid that he didn’t really love me, and that this was all a big joke. Those anxieties led to fights both big and small. At one point, after we were engaged, I was considering breaking up with him. I didn’t, and I am so glad I made that decision.
While mental illness is a hard thing to deal with, it helps to have someone to help you deal with it, and to love you regardless. In the time that Jon and I have known each other, he has been my rock. Yes, there are times when I want to strangle him, like when he leaves the stove a mess after making breakfast, or leaves the tooth paste out, or doesn’t clean up his hair after shaving….but when I need him emotionally, he is there. Recently we went through a phase, after having our sweet baby boy, where we were both emotionally numb. It was bad enough that I had to go back on medication, and so did Jon. We worked through it, and now, I could not be happier. It is because of his love and support that I even feel confident in writing this blog.
Our wedding day was absolutely magical! Looking back, it felt like a total blur! We were married in the Rexburg Temple on August 15, 2015 surrounded by family and friends. We had a beautiful luncheon provided by BYU-Idaho Catering, and my parents and adopted grandparents put together a stunning outdoor reception. The colors were pink, purple and silver. It was a fabulous day! One of the more memorable moments would have to be after the ceremony luncheon, I went back to my old apartment to party with roommates, and shoot zombies! Later that night, we went to Idaho Falls for our reception, and the line was so long, and so non-stop that we hardly had time to cut the cake, throw the bouquet and garter, or do anything else for that matter. Looking back, I wish we could have had more time to maybe dance, or stop and enjoy some of the little moments, but at the same time I wouldn’t change a thing. Those little details didn’t really matter. I was married to a man that I absolutely LOVED! That was all that mattered. Him, and me.
I am so dang glad that I took that leap of faith and asked him out. If I hadn’t, I don’t know where I would be today. Probably not nearly as happy, or loved as I am right now.